So a little disclaimer that this story is my personal experience with binge eating and that the steps I took to heal may or may not work for you. This is not a personalized recommendation nor is it medical advice. If you struggle with binge eating, know that I am a resource for you and that there are some other great ones out there. Please speak to someone if some of this sounds familiar.
After severe food restriction for well over a year, the way that I restored my weight and got out of the dangerous path I was on was to eat. And boy did I eat. I ate in huge quantities. Nearly entire jars of nut butter. Party size bags of chips etc.
And through the years the binging did not go away, although I did stop eating to the point of feeling sick. I would eat when I was still physically full from dinner. I would down a pint of ice cream (always the lower calorie or non-dairy varieties) every night like it was my job.
I had a ton of shame around these behaviors, but I always felt that I could justify them because I was “good” the rest of the time.
Cue the issue with dieting, overt restriction, and the more subtle versions of it like the ever-sensible “portion control”. What all of these have in common is will-power. We are told to limit how much we eat and we are told that if we don’t we’ll “blow up”.
And the result of that perceived control is that there comes a point when the pendulum has to swing in the other direction. If you are employing mind-over-matter in the way you are eating, you are not actually listening to your body. And so your body fights back.
The same thing happens with mental restriction.
So as sensible as some diets and “lifestyles” may seem, they actually build a distrust in your body and its cues.
And that was what was happening to me. I was forever dieting. Forever limiting what, when and how much I ate. And my body’s response was to drive me to eat (and eat and eat).
So what is the big secret that I teased you with in the start of this blog? Well I figured something out for myself. And honestly I knew it from a logical standpoint for quite awhile before I actually started employing it in my day to day life.
I had to eat.
And not in the way that I had done in the past.
In the way that people talk about when they say to eat breakfast and eat lunch and don’t go x amount of hours without eating.
Even though I always understood these principles, I never wanted to adopt them. I would always use the excuse of “I’m just not hungry during the day” or “I’m too busy to eat” or “I don’t want to workout on a full stomach”. And while these may be legitimate for some people, if you are binge eating nearly every night, then it’s time to question them.
For me, I’ve always been a breakfast eater, even in my most restrictive times. I’ve always believed that it is the most important meal of the day and I’ve always loved breakfast foods. So I eat it regularly. Even if I’m not hungry.
But lunch. Me and lunch have not been on good terms until more recently. I’ve used all of the above excuses and I’ve been pretty great about ignoring my body during the busiest times of my day.
But today, as I ate my beef taco pasta leftovers AND drank a smoothie with it, I got to thinking how much has changed for me around food. As I sit here typing while comfortably full, I feel reassured that tonight for dinner, I won’t be driven to overeat. (I also plan to have a snack in a few hours.). I won’t be scouring the cabinet after dinner either. And yes, I’ll probably have a handful of the dark chocolate covered almonds from the kitchen. But that’s all I’ll need to feel satisfied.
All because I actually ate a proper lunch.
And yes, I know it sounds simplistic. And that’s because it is. And it works.
So all this to say, if you aren’t already doing so, try eating breakfast, lunch, and snacks in between. Giving yourself proper nourishment regularly and on purpose will help you in more ways than you know.